The whisky fans in the audience may already be aware of a great crisis facing the boozing public the world over.
Yes, gentle reader, I am speaking of the coming worldwide whisky shortage. Not since the soviet-era lines for bread and toilet paper has a catastrophe of this magnitude befallen the common man.
Attentive readers may recall that Maker’s Mark, the famous Kentucky Bourbon Whiskey with the distinctive read wax seal, met with howls of disapproval last year when they tried to stretch their whiskey stocks by watering it down from 45% to 42% ABV.
Apparently, whiskey fans like change about as much as the New Coke / Classic Coke debacle showed us back in 1985.
Due to worldwide demand outpacing the annual production of whisky, the large distillers find themselves in the position of having to drain the aging whiskies from their wooden casks for bottling and sale earlier than they might like.
If we look back in time a decade or so, vodka and rum were on the top of the spirits world, and whisky was something enjoyed by stuffy old men with leather patches on their elbows, and faint but omnipresent aroma of pipe tobacco.
However, with television shows like Mad Men putting Canadian Club Rye Whisky in every glass, or House of Cards showing every shady backroom deal getting done with a stiff belt of Bourbon Whiskey, the demand for whisky has never been higher.
Upon hearing this news, many of you may be deciding that this would be a good time to panic. Indeed, if there were ever a time to panic, this is definitely the time.
Essentially, world whisky demand is being met today by cannibalizing the more profitable future sales of long-aged whisky. Unfortunately, the aging stocks will not last forever, nor does such a strategy bode well for long-term planning at the distilleries.
Since whisky takes several years of aging in oak barrels before it can be sold, worldwide whisky supplies cannot ramp up quickly to meet spikes in demand. This leads to younger whiskies being put on the market. In essence, as demand for whisky goes up, quality goes down.
Unfortunately, the highest demand is for the well-aged whisky, like the single malts from Scotland, which tend to be aged in oak barrels for at least a decade before bottling.
Demand for these aged whiskies has doubled in the last ten years. Unfortunately, the distillers would have needed a crystal ball ten years ago in order to prepare for the demands of today, so we are faced with rising prices and shortages of supply.
Lest you think that all hope is lost, the great whisky houses of the world are labouring day and night to keep the casks flowing.
Diageo, the largest drinks company in the world, has recently invested nearly 2 billion dollars in its distillery operations, primarily in Scotland and the USA.
Jack Daniels, another large player in the whiskey market, has also announced a $100 million expansion of their flagship distillery in Lynchburg, and hopes to be completed by late next year.
Surprisingly, the biggest bottleneck at most distilleries is not on the distilling line, but rather in the storage warehouses that hold the aging whiskey in oak barrels for several years prior to bottling.
Luckily, we in Alberta are blessed with a vibrant local distilling industry. We have Alberta Distillers in Calgary (now owned by Jim Beam Inc), as well has Highwood Distillers in High River.
On the artisanal side, we also have a few up-and-coming small craft distillers that will be opening their doors in the coming months. Last Best Brewing & Distilling will be opening this summer in the recently shuttered Brew Brothers facility in Calgary, and the Eau Claire Distillery will soon be opening in Turner Valley, specializing in farm to bottle vodka, gin, and whisky.
Your intrepid liquor reporter has seen the writing on the wall for some time, and has been building up his own private hoard of the good stuff, so I will be able sit gleefully in my heavily barricaded man cave, sipping wee drams of the good stuff while the world burns.
And if I ever run out, there’s always my own private still, hidden down in the reeds at the end of lake. I may only age the spirit for a week in a plastic bucket, but some whisky will be better than no whisky!
