Each year about 45% of us will make a New Year’s Resolution. By the end of January, about one in three will ditch their resolution, and less than 8% of people will actually reach their goal. Many of us have been there. Whether we resolve to save money, lose weight, start a hobby, or get that other thing done, the statistics show that we have a slim chance of achieving what we set out to do. Yup, those numbers aren’t working in your favour, or mine.
Instead of New Year’s resolutions (which are very likely to fail, sorry to say), what if we gave ourselves grace. I call it, “New Years Irresolutions.”
When we try to defeat our shortcomings with a resolution, we often find ourselves in one of three places. First, we try harder. We clench our teeth and figure out how to fix whatever it is that’s wrong with us. Secondly, when that doesn’t work, then we pretend. We cover up and convince ourselves that our plan is working and put on a good front. Lastly, we fail to reach the mark. The gig is up, we’re done. We shrug and say we’ll do better next time. This cycle shouldn’t be a surprise, we all know what it feels like. What is a surprise is when someone gives themselves, and others, grace.
Grace is a powerful posture. It’s a hand of forgiveness to ourselves and others. It’s saying we might not have what it takes to get through the next year. It’s saying that we are limited resources with only so much will-power. Motivational pep-talks and resolutions may not get you to where you need to be. So what if we don’t use them anymore? Often trying harder, with it’s 8% success rate, is not the way forward. At first glance this may look like giving up, and it might be, but not in the way we think. Grace is not giving up, it’s going through another way.
When I was young I broke a precious ceramic gift from my grandmother. It just happened. No amount of resolve or strength or will power could have prevented the mistake of my little butter fingers. Instead of bringing down the hammer on me for my mistake, my mother and grandmother showed grace. Together we repaired the damage and got it (almost) back to new. The grace they showed me actually did more in my life than any new rules or discipline ever could have done. Grace may not have prevented the damage, but it did change the way I saw every gift after that. I knew the gifts came from a gracious grandmother and all of her gifts took on a new level of value to me. Interestingly, I never broke her gifts again. Not because of resolve or skill, but because of grace.
When we take the pressure off of ourselves to get our act in order, we step into the room of grace. It’s from that place of grace that we can begin to take the pressure off of others, too. When we become people of grace towards ourselves and others, we profoundly reshape the way we step into the New Year. Instead of resolving to fix something, choose instead to be step forward with grace. There’s no ten steps to success, only a posture. There’s no set goal, only the belief that a gracious journey will transform you and those around you.
Grace-filled New Years Irresolutions may take you farther than you expect.
