Everyone has different items on their bucket list. Some people want to climb Everest, or see the seven wonders of the world. The top item on my college girlfriend’s list was a glass of wine at the top of the Eiffel Tower at midnight, with a none-too-subtle hint that she was long past due for receiving a diamond solitaire.
Your intrepid liquor reporter is a simple creature, and none of the items on my bucket list involve scaling mountains, running marathons, or giving up bachelorhood. This past week saw another checkmark was added to the, and it was satisfying indeed.
Yes, gentle reader, your humble narrator has finally made a pilgrimage to his own personal mecca, the ancestral home of Guinness, that black and frothy stout that we all know and love.
With WestJet recently adding flights to Dublin, your globetrotting liquor reporter jumped at the chance to sip the black stuff directly from the brass teats of the Guinness brewery, which is exactly what I did.
For those readers not familiar with the rich and storied history of this noble drink, I will provide a little background information.
Arthur Guinness was an Irish businessman who took over a disused brewery in Dublin in 1759, wisely signing a 9000 year lease for the princely annual sum of £45.
Yes, gentle reader, the landlord somehow thought that a 9000 year lease made sense at the time, although I’m sure the rent will be renegotiated slightly upwards when the lease ends in the year 10,759.
Guinness has gone through a few mergers and acquisitions since 1759, and is now part of the London-based Diageo conglomerate, also known as the world’s largest drinks company.
Covering more than fifty acres of downtown Dublin, the Guinness brewery is large enough to be seen from space, so I made sure to wave at the brave astronauts and cosmonauts when my smartphone app told me that the ISS was overhead.
Several hours were spent on seeing the different historical artifacts, ancient recipes, oddly misleading advertising slogans from the 1920s, and more Guinness trivia than all but the most dedicated fan would be interested in.
The tour ends in the Gravity Bar on the 7th floor, which I can only assume is located there to represent the 7th level of heaven, based on how fresh and delicious the ebony elixir tasted.
While all the Guinness available in North America is brewed right in Dublin, those crafty Irish do keep a few brands to themselves, never to grace our foreign shores here in Canada.
Wrangling my way into an exclusive behind-the-scenes tour, I was introduced to the tiny pilot brewhouse that the brewmasters use for experimentation and small one-off batches.
Some of those experiments make their way to limited distribution in nearby pubs, and of course in the onsite drinking establishment for enjoyment by the pilgrims supplicating at the doors of the brewery.
One successful experiment that recently came out of the pilot brewery was a resurrection of a century-old recipe called Dublin Porter, which was first brewed in 1796 for the London market, where Porter-style beers were all the rage at the time.
At a mere 3.8% ABV, I expected the Dublin Porter to be an insipid and watery brew, similar to a Corona Lite, but it was every bit as black and flavourful as the Guinness we all know and love.
The Dublin Porter is being test-marketed at dozens of pubs within stumbling distance of the Guinness brewery, and if the stars align, we might be lucky enough to have it available in Canada this year.
As with every good tourist attraction, the gift shop is conveniently located near the exit, so your humble narrator stocked up on all sorts of branded paraphernalia, such as Guinness cufflinks, Guinness golf shirts, Guinness underpants, and Guinness pocket blood alcohol testers, just in case you had too much fun on the tour.
While a single day at the Guinness brewery is not nearly enough to fully appreciate all the magic that happens there, your humble narrator made sure to keep his glass refilled with the black stuff for the rest of my days in Ireland.
Well, except perhaps for the times that my glass was full of Irish whiskey, but that is a story for another day.
