Life is a journey of learning about ourselves. We can learn about what drives us, what makes us happy, what hardens our heart, and what gives us deep meaning and life. Sometimes we learn about ourselves through others who love us and gently show us who we are. It is easy to avoid reflecting on our lives and just push forward, but wisdom says that being self reflective is so important to a life well lived.
A few years ago I learned something about myself. I learned that I didn’t like to miss out. I wanted to experience everything. I lived with a touch of anxiety that if I didn’t try something I might miss my opportunity. So I would sometimes rush past important moments and conversations in order to get somewhere else. I was missing beautiful moments because I was just too busy. There’s a term for the behaviour of people who need to experience something else – FOMO – or Fear of Missing Out.
FOMO is now a joke in our family when I’m eager to head out and try a new restaurant, see a new movie, event, or gathering. I still love to experience new things, but it’s now less out of fear. I am learning to slow down and enjoy the moment. I see that fear is not a good motivation for doing, or not doing, anything.
The best neighbourhoods are not built on programs and buildings, but by people and though relationships. We connect and re-connect with each other and over time we build a culture and community that we are proud of. Our neighbourhoods are not built on the fear or anxiety of rushing busy-ness, but through authentic, caring, present and connected people.
Often we cannot see the value of this long journey into the neighbourhood because we all struggle with a bit of FOMO. We cannot linger long with neighbours because we have places to be. We cannot spend time with our kids skating on the frozen pond because we fear wasting an afternoon when we could be doing other things. Fear of Missing Out drives us to zip through our neighbourhoods and avoid spending our time on the small and beautiful local joys that are found all around us.
The opposite of the Fear of Missing Out is the Joy of Missing Out, or JOMO. We find joy when we slow down and recognize the value of missing out on one thing in favour of another. Missing out on our TV show in favour of playing LEGO with our kids is an example of JOMO. Or we can experience JOMO when we miss out on a trip to the mall in favour of spending the evening visiting with a friend. JOMO is about making conscious decisions about letting go of those things we want to experience in favour of those meaningful moments and connections in our lives and neighbourhoods.
In 2017 may you miss out on what is less important and live into those moments that bring the deepest joy for you and those you love. May you find the JOMO in each moment as you live into your neighbourhood in new and beautiful ways.
