I was sitting on the front step one evening with my blanket-wrapped four year old on my lap. The rain was drizzling in that light misty way that makes the street lights glow and shimmer. We were waiting for her grandma to visit and we sat with expectance, watching for her. For every car that passed by, my daughter waved with the hope that it might be her. When grandma’s car finally pulled up and came to a stop, my daughter bolted off my lap and down the step. Grandma was home with plenty of hugs to share.
What my daughter is learning is that waving at cars usually doesn’t elicit a wave in return. When people drive they are not looking out for little girls who want to say, ‘hello.’ We are driving, passing through, and moving past others without much thought. Our cars are perfect capsules for helping us maintain our anonymity and separation from those who live in our neighbourhood. People simply don’t wave at cars, it doesn’t make sense. When we drive we can pass by others without having to interact. Except for our signal lights. The basic blinker on our vehicle lets people know if we are turning left or right. It’s the most rudimentary way for a driver to communicate. With the help of our cars, our day-to-day greetings have been simplified down to a little orange blinking signal light.
This was not always the case. For as long as people have travelled they have exchanged knowing ‘hellos,’ kindly nods, small talk, waves and a tip of the hat. We have always found ways to acknowledge the people we meet. In the small Alberta town where I grew up, it was common to wave because chances were that the person you were passing was someone you knew, someone you might actually care about or deal with in some way. And if the person was a stranger, we felt it was kind to at least offer a civil greeting.
Each connection we make in our neighbourhood creates a culture that affects how we care for our place. The simple act of greeting others is so much more than just a friendly gesture by good-natured ‘small town’ people. It is a recognition that the person you pass is someone worth acknowledging. They are valuable and important to your community. But more than that, when someone is ‘seen’ and ‘known’ they realize that they are not incidental to their place, but vital to it. When neighbours are celebrated, even in small ways, they are woven into the fabric of their community and it changes them, and us.
We need orange signal lights on our car to navigate the highways, but we need personal connections and genuine greetings to nurture health and life in our neighbourhoods. It is not a sign of maturity or sophistication when we live as though the people around us do not exist. In fact when we acknowledge others it demonstrates a depth of character and reveals that we have eyes to see the big picture and inherent value of others in our community.
May we become those who exchange greetings gratefully, bravely, and expectantly, knowing that we are engaging in more than small talk, we are building our home.
