A friend of mine sat across from me over lunch and said the most wonderful things to me. I don’t remember what prompted him, but his words were a gift. He simply affirmed me. A few phrases that put wind in my sails. He told me what he saw in me, and that it was good, and that he appreciates me for it. It was an early Christmas gift, and just as I was trying to respond to him with some babbling sort of thanks, he unexpectedly stopped me and then said something else: he said I could rest.
I am allowed to breathe, to stop, and to enjoy the gift. Because my life has meaning, I can wait, look around, and take it all in. I can be still.
Your life has meaning, too. Although the voices around you might not say so very often, it is no less true. Most of the time, the loudest voices try to convince us that we need something else in order to enjoy a meaningful life. Even those we love may not tell us that our lives are meaningful. In fact, we might go weeks without being reminded that our lives matter. It’s not their fault for not saying, it may just be that there is a widespread forgetfulness. We simply forget that our lives have purpose and value, and eventually we forget to mention it, and even begin to believe it.
To say there is an epidemic of purposelessness may feel overstated, but a new study by the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development revealed that among teens, meaningless is a growing concern. When teens were asked if their life had meaning and purpose, teens in the United Kingdom ranked among the lowest. Only 52% of UK teens said they have found some meaning in their life. While Canada was not part of the study, several other developed nations had similar results.
To talk openly about meaning and purpose may feel too personal or too spiritual for daily conversation. To talk about the Good Life as something we can nurture and find may come across as idealistic and impractical. Yet it seems that, at least in the UK and elsewhere, a new generation of teenagers actually believe that their lives are purposeless. The pursuits that have been set before them have not led them down a road where they have discovered what living is all about, half of these teens simply think there is nothing good in life, and nothing worth striving for.
As my friend and I finished lunch, his words of affirmation ringing in my ears and heart, I was reminded that we do in fact need to remind each other that we are loved, that our lives are meaningful, that we matter. When we know who we are we can be still and rest in that confidence. Our lives matter, full stop.
In these days of Christmas may you find times to courageously tell others that they matter to you. Your words might fumble and you may feel yourself stepping into uncharted territory talking about impractical topics of purpose and meaning. But no matter what our age, everyone needs to know that their life matters. It may be the best Christmas gift you give, or receive, this year.
