Everyone has been impacted by the worldwide pandemic to some extent, and norms have been drastically shifted. People are struggling with job insecurity, the loss of loved ones, loss of choice, fear of health problems, fear of the unknown, and the question of when we can return to life as usual. The very notion of our normal has been challenged, and the resulting feeling is that the world we once knew is no longer safe.
There have been an abundance of messages circulating over the last few weeks regarding ways in which people can rediscover themselves, be proactive, or find ways to take advantage of apparent extra time. The messages highlight opportunities to learn new languages, become artists, or get to that ever famous ‘to do’ list that’s been lingering for months or even years. It is likely that we have all imagined what it would feel like to have a magical week, or month, where we didn’t have to worry about the day-to-day responsibilities, and just get some stuff done. I have found myself struggling with the pressure to feel more productive due to supposed ‘extra time’, and the narrative that “I should be doing something more.”
On a mass scale we are all experiencing some level of trauma, grief, anxiety, stress, and a myriad of other concerns. It is important to keep in mind that although we are experiencing the pandemic as a collective; our responses to stress are based on our unique experiences and histories. This can serve as a reminder to lend ourselves and others kindness. What we may be experiencing, and how we may be responding, may not be other people’s experiences or responses. What one person may prioritize, another may not. Placing unrealistic expectations to perform, or even thrive, can have negative impacts on mental health, or exacerbate existing mental health concerns.
There’s no rule that says we have to accomplish all our life goals and become the best versions of ourselves during this time. Nowhere does it state that we should master a new skill, create a piece of art, or begin a new eating plan or workout routine. What you are doing is surviving and finding ways to create safety in a world which may no longer feel safe. It is okay to feel like you just survived the day without having to bear the burden of feeling unaccomplished because of messages which feed the idea that we ‘should’ be doing something more. It’s unrealistic at best, and at its worst, it can promote the belief that we are not good enough if we haven’t found a new sense of self. Focusing on self-compassion, kindness toward self, permission giving, and creating boundaries in order to prioritize personal needs such as self-care can be valuable in creating safety. Let’s challenge the idea of what we should be doing, and instead focus on our unique and individual needs.
Be kind and remind yourselves to acknowledge that some days are more difficult and longer than others. It’s okay to feel tired, upset, and all the other range of emotions you may be experiencing. It’s okay to not be okay! There’s really no right or wrong. Do what works for you. If that means making bread, then go for it. If not, then don’t. We are dealing with a pandemic after all, and that’s hard work. Stay safe and healthy Chestermere!
