What a strange time we live in. A virus, so small and so dangerous to so many, has brought the whole world to a stop. We are only beginning to realize how the vast network of businesses, programs, non-profits, investments, and more will be affected, let alone families and homes. This is big, sad, hard, and triggers fear and uncertainty.
That’s ok.
Being afraid is part of being human. It’s hardwired into us, for our protection. Fear is a natural thing and it will always be present in us as we read the headlines and see the effects of this surreal time in modern history. As we navigate this age of unease, imagine that you’re driving a car. Imagine that fear is in the car with you; a passenger. Fear will always ride with us to yell out if we’re about to head off the road. But that’s a back-seat job. Fear is best when it is not in the drivers seat, nor should it have its hand on the steering wheel yanking back and forth every time it gets nervous. Fear has a place in the back seats of our lives and even in the hardest times, we have to put fear in that place.
Fear leads to anxiety. If fear is driving or has its hands on the steering wheel, it will dodge and weave all over. Fear is unpredictable and this leads to a sense of deep unease about what will happen next. This anxiety can cause us to believe that every moment of every day is out of our control, that nothing good will come, and that we cannot trust anything or anyone. Fear gets worked up in ways that can make fear an untrustworthy voice and a liar. Fear has no idea where we are going, so we need it to take its hands off anything that controls us.
Further, anxiety loves company. It spreads and seeks to alert everyone around to its perception of the world and we play a big role in sharing it around. Author Ken Thiessen says that, “you do something to either raise the anxiety, enable the anxiety, perpetuate the anxiety, or cause the anxiety.” In fact, it can feel really good to let others in on the anxiety we feel, so we broadcast our fears and anxiety. Others join us and we build a community around our anxieties.
There is another way, a better way. In a fearful and anxious time and place, we can be different. To be a ‘non-anxious presence’ in a community is more powerful than the spread of fear. We have discovered that it takes just one person who is willing to risk and learn, and then to operate out of faith and courage, to change the story. Instead of giving into anxiety, someone who stops the wildfire can save the whole community by simply entering each moment differently. Self-differentiated people have the power to put fear in the back seat and navigate with wisdom, grace, and hope.
Our neighbourhoods need now, more than ever, people who live as a non-anxious presence. We all still carry fears, but these fears are not allowed to drive our community. We know who we want to be and how we care for each other. As we reach out to each other through phone calls or video chat, may we all be voices of non-anxiety. One day soon I know we will meet again, hug again, share meals and party again. Until that day, we stay the course of loving each other, waiting on each other, and setting the stage for peace in all we do.
